Glamping anyone?
All the magazines I’m reading seem to have features on Festival outfits and how to camp
in style. I’ll just get this out there first, I don’t camp. I hate it, I tried it again fairly recently
and we left after one night. We arrived in the drizzle, half pitched our tent to find that
friends of friends had arrived before us and pitched in a different (much less attractive and
less sheltered) spot. We moved, it started to rain, we hadn’t learnt much about our tent
from it’s previous erection and swore at each other while holding poles and a poopy baby.
Other people arrived and asked me how much I was hating it so far and then it got cold.
Poppet wouldn’t sleep, our pop up cot was useless and ridiculously designed and I spent
most of the evening either needing a wee or checking that the baby hadn’t been snatched
from the back door of the tent and that her hands were warm enough. There was dance
music and a laser show, it was that kind of camp site. What was I thinking? The husband
made a gallant effort of bringing me fresh coffee, chocolates and nice loo roll when he
went to the shop for supplies but even that didn’t work. Half the tent collapsed in the night
and we slept with Poppet in between us on a blow up mattress like a saggy trampoline listening
to other people party and then snore.
What am I missing? Friends told us that normally they spoon donkeys and climb trees,
paint each others faces and giggle until they a do a little bit of wee. I have a friend whose
husband sets up before she arrives with the kids, they turn up to pitched tents, a fire with
stones and spare logs circling it, surrounded by blankets, bales of hay to sit on and some
sort of stew or casserole bubbling away. They have a ‘shower’ hung in a tree for the morning
and solar powered fairy lights to get them through the night. ah, pretty.
This idea of camping is more similar to the new wave of ‘glamping’ that I could possibly
maybe do. Glamorous camping, part of me wants to scream ‘WHY?” while the other half is
still going, ah, pretty, and wondering how much a yurt costs, and is it the same thing as a
wigwam, and is that different to a teepee?
I’ve just had a Google and some of these permanent ‘tents’ or renovated gypsy caravan
places come with electricity, bathrooms, kitchens, posh food and are all eco like. fancy.
If you fancy a bit of festivalling but without the camping, day festivals are becoming more
popular or you could rock up in a camper van, it’s warmer and doesn’t involve any poles or
zips, though you still have to poop in a box or a bush, no thanks. By box I mean a portaloo,
not like a shoe box, that would just be wrong.
Despite my dislike of camping, I still love the idea of the festival look, I was ready to embrace
not washing my hair and I totally rocked the stripey socks with Hunter wellies even
though it was on the drive home. I have this idealised vision of flowers in my hair, massive
sunglasses, denim hotpants (I would never normally even dream of wearing hotpants), an
access all areas pass around my neck and a vintage rock tee (with stripey socks and wellies
obviously). Poppet would have her face painted and be dressed like a butterfly, or spiderman,
whatever she wants man. We’d be silent discoing or eating chinese food from a
box surrounded by coloured lanterns and flags. Husband would just be in stripey socks
and wellies. Ha.
